It is good to talk. Have we lost the art of striking up a good conversation?

6 mins read

I have always been accused of talking too much, maybe it is because I have so much to say, and dare I say it, love to be annoying. I do not care anymore, and if you want to talk to me about it I would be happy to discuss it. I do listen though. Many chatter boxes struggle with listening to the other person trying to get a word in. I must confess I have been guilty of trying to dominate the conversation. I now hone in and focus. You learn more by listening.

The human connection, why I shall never want to be alone.

I think of Greta Garbo, the actress who muttered the famous line in the movie, ‘Grand Hotel’ in 1932. We have all used it to be dramatic and to emphasize the point that expresses our need to wallow in our own solitude. Saying we want to be alone is not always for our own well-being. We love a bit of drama. I am an expressive person and although I live a single life, there is nothing I enjoy more than socialising and having a good natter.

However people can often overwhelm us. We run to our safety cave and bed down. The trouble for me is I can’t be comfortable in my solitude for too long and I need some human interaction. On the outside, I may be bustling and enjoying the buzz of life, loving the aspect of it all but like most of us, I still need the tranquility that comes from being alone with your thoughts.

An opinion aired, a point of view, a simple inquiry or a rant about the weather. We are all social animals, just some more than others. It is important to find time and process it all. A good balance between social and ‘me time’keeps us healthy and wise.

Lockdown has forced us to stay at home for our own safety so it comes as no surprise that people are eager to communicate on a social level and not constantly stuck in front of a computer screen. Being talkative is a skill and one that I had to learn. As a child I was never shy. I asked the questions every child asks and told many times by my parents not to repeat things I had heard.

Talk to your kids

Back then there was no plonking kids in front of TV screens. We learned to communicate by talking. I remember as a young teacher of dance, I had to work at social dances and was asked to walk around the tables in the dance centre to strike up conversations. I was only fifteen and pushed out there, into a sea of small talk.. ‘What do I speak about?’ I asked my boss, she said, “Lauren, talk about pigs flying if you must, but talk about something, anything – and so I did. Jabber jabber – I learned to talk for England.

If I asked you to stand up and talk for three minutes, on a subject you knew very little about, could you waffle on (Waffle means to sound like you know what you are talking about but probably have no idea) Politicians do this all the time. Could you do it? stop shaking your head. I bet you could.

I recently took part, in a course where we had to partake in discussion groups of four people. It was amazing how quickly we ran out of time. Once we got going there was no stopping us. People who had only just met, were now flowing into deep conversation. It was there I came up with the idea of creating an event and calling it Loose Talk.

This has lead me to think about how wonderful it would be to start a local discussion group for people who need to talk and let’s face it after Covid restrictions a bit of human connection is what we all need. My idea is to have 4 people on a table and a topic card in the centre They introduce themselves and talk on this topic for 16 minutes approximately 4 minutes each. We then ring a bell and they move to a different table and group. By doing this, subjects are discussed and participants get to mingle and meet new friends. The subjects can be bordering controversial but not to the point of enticing argumentative discussion. People can have an opinion but not be opinionated. Of course some wine on the table will help the conversation flow

Has anybody done anything like this or similar? I would love to hear your thoughts. Maybe you have some tips for me.

Hiya, I am Lauren, a lifestyle traveller, writer and health Nerd. Due to lockdown I decided to get on with writing my blog and catching up with friends new and old. I believe we are one world that for most of us wants to promote peace and goodwill to each other, wherever you are in the world I wish you well. I hope we connect and share our stories.

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