TRAPPED, stuck on an island and cannot get off.


Just before the whole world practically went into lockdown, I had just moved onto the island of Koh Phangan in Thailand. I had mentioned to my son that I may be safer to stay where I was and see out this pandamic. ‘Mum’ my son exclaimed you really do not want to be stuck on an island. I remember laughing and saying, I could think of worst places to be stuck. A couple of days later, as I started to hear about ferries and flights being cancelled, my feelings changed and I started to feel vulnerable. A day later I was on a plane back to Heathrow. My travels had come to an abrupt end.

Life circumstances can send us in un-predicted directions, I made it home to my house in Spain and have been here for nearly three months. Yesterday I woke up with that ‘Stuck on an island’ feeling again. I am sure this has come about because of two invitations I have had, one to Portugal and one to France. The worst part is I have mislaid my passport and now I am feeling trapped.

‘What is wrong with me?’ I live in a beautiful village, have plenty of friends and family nearby and all the things I love to do, I can do here.

it does not matter how gold the cage is, the bird will want to fly

I am not sure why, maybe I was a gypsy nomad in a past life, I have never stayed longer than ten years in one place, in fact my average is 5 years. I love to change my surroundings constantly. On my walk today my mindful meditation was on NEW LIFE AND HARMONY. I look for balance. If something makes me unhappy I will try to balance it with a happy thought. My feeling of being trap edged me towards saying yes to an opportunity to go to France.

As freedom waves at me from the sky, I have to justify to myself. There have been nagging doubts put there by the Covid Pandemic situation. Should we travel? Some would say not, and maybe judge me for wanting to.

I am not scared at all for myself, I have great health but I would hate to think I would ever spread this virus. The only way that I could be sure never to do that is lock myself away. I am sorry but that is not an option. Believe me I have seen people take these drastic measures and have made themselves sick because of it. I am happy to quarantine wherever I go. I take precautions and stay away from crowded areas. But tell me to stay where I am and I will feel like I am dying in jail.

So I am rummaging through all my bags and holdalls to find my passport. I feel so lost without it.

If your travels have been drastically affected I would love to hear how you are coping, please drop me a comment in the box below.

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